Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
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can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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