I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
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YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
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I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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