OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize