I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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