masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize