so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize