my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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