No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize