the new term for farting is butt boxing.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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