Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize