She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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