dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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