My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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