I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
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his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
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I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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