I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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