I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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