getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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