Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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