so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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