Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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