you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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