The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize