barbara walters just said penis...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
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I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
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I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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