It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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