Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize