hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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