If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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