She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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