Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize