And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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