My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
im having a threesome with these popsicles
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize