Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize