Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize