So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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