sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize