I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
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Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
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Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
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