It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
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so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
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I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
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I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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