yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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