I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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