I just saw a hot homeless man
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize