So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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