He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
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God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
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I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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