Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
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I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
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I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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