i jhust puked up my retainher.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize