somebody snuck up and got me drunk
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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