I'm gonna have a badass scar
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize