I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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