Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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