I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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