How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize